Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
