There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
