i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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