I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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