Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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