Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
