go do what you do best...puke behind churches
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
