She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
