You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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