I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
