Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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