Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
That's when you crack a 10am beer
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
smell my finger.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
