worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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