What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
