she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
