Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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