the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
