i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
