I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
