she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
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