i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
