I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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