I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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