i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
