you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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