the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
