Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
