grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
