it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
