I want you more than these girls want KFC
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
