Pants 0. Shit 1.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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