If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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