how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
