I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
