i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
