shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
