nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I need to stop coming to work sober
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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