Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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