the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
