I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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