What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
