I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
