There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
