Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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