the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
