I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Let's get the cat blown out
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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