I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
