I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
