just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
