The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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