dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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